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January 2017

When Should You Consider Couples Counseling in Sacramento?

Couples counseling is an important part of improving troubled relationships. It is not simply for saving marriages. It’s also for simply making sure that your doing what you can to improve communication, build trust, and creating a stronger bond that lasts whether your relationship is successful or not.

There are many signs that couples counseling may be right for you. Consider your answers to the following:

  • Are any of the issues in your relationships a repeated problem?
  • Is there something you can identify to fix?
  • Are there reasons to try to keep the relationship together?
  • If you knew your relationship was going to end, would you still want it to improve?
  • Do you both have a desire to move forward?

Couples counseling in Sacramento isn’t just about saving your relationship. That’s the end goal, yes. But what it is about more is finding ways to improve – both as a couple and for yourself. Throughout counseling, you learn a lot about yourself and your partner, and develop a better understanding of how to manage yourself and grow in the future.

The most important question to ask yourself is – are you willing to put in the work? If the answer is yes, then it is worth seeking out a Sacramento couples counselor. The sooner you see a counselor, the more you can start seeing the progress you hoped to see.

Individual Counseling in Sacramento, Folsom, Roseville

Life is a gift. But it is also not without its challenges. From finances to aging to relationships, there will be times in your life when you’re faced with difficulties. Many of these difficulties you will be able to overcome on your own.

Yet there may come a time when you need help – when you need someone to work with you to fight the stress, anxiety, depression, or other issues that you’re facing, and help you achieve greater levels of contentment and life fulfillment.

That is what individual counseling is for – to help you get through the tough times, and to find greater direction and satisfaction from your future. If you believe you may be able to benefit from individual therapy in the Sacramento area, contact us today.

Why Individual Counseling?

When we experience life stresses, what we are really experiencing is a type of pain. Life events (such as a relationship breakup, harassment, social exclusion, failure at a task) and negative emotions (such as anxiety, depression, loneliness, and guilt) – these trigger a reaction in the mind that is in the exact same region as physical pain.

Pain can be both psychological and emotional, and activate the same part of the brain – the secondary somatosensory cortex and the dorsal posterior insula – that physical pain activates. There is even evidence that emotional and psychological pain can be felt worse than physical pain. It is no surprise that many people describe their emotional and psychological pain in physical terms:

  • My Heart Hurts
  • I Feel Like I’m Dying
  • It is Like Getting Hit By a Truck

Yet what often makes these distresses and challenges even worse is that the one thing that we can use to overcome them is the same thing that is causing them – our mind and thoughts. Physical pain, like a cut on the leg, can be easy to ignore when you’re feeling happy and strong.

But when you have anxiety, stress, and other life challenges, they are taking place within your mind, and so overcoming them becomes even more difficult.

The 2 Types of Psychological and Emotional Pain

Within a field of therapy known as “Acceptance and Commitment Therapy,” there is an interesting take on the different types of pain. The two types of pain are:

  • Clear Pain
  • Dirty Pain

Clear Pain is a primary emotion. It is what we feel when something happens to us in life, and it is the direct, logical response to that event. For example, if we lose someone we love and we are sad about it, that is a type of Clean Pain. It doesn’t mean the pain is easy, but it does imply that it is a direct reaction to an event or issue.

Dirty Pain is different. Dirty pain is found in the other emotions that we feel when we experience an event. For example, after a breakup, a person may feel like they are a failure, or they will struggle with love, that they may be alone forever. It is the anger they would feel towards that partner, or the frustration they have in themselves.

This type of suffering isn’t a specific reaction to the event. In many ways it is a form of mental bullying – your mind attacking you with thoughts and emotions that are only tangentially related to the event that happened, and based on your mind’s assessment of the situation – not the situation itself.

How Our Sacramento Therapy Services Can Assist With Both Clean and Dirty Pain

Psychotherapy and Counseling are designed to alleviate both of these types of pain. At our individual therapy practice in Sacramento, we use techniques based on sound psychological and research principles specifically to address these types of pain in a variety of different settings.

We do this by creating a comfortable setting that allows you to open up with someone you trust that is attuned to your needs and emotions. Within an effective therapy practice, our role is to uncover that which is creating the most pain for you, and help you to understand a new interpretation, experience, and meaning, so that you no longer let yourself be bullied by these thoughts.

Counseling provides a safe, comfortable space that allows you to release the issues that are causing you pain without judgment, while also helping you establish new and more productive thought patterns to deal with the emotional pain. Studies have shown that these changes and others help to alter not only our thought patterns, but the brain itself, in a way that makes it easier for you to handle emotional challenges and their related pains in the future.

A Safe Counseling Relationship

The counselor/client relationship is one of the strongest tools for helping you overcome any of the issues you may be facing, and that’s something we seek to create here in our Sacramento counseling practice. The approach our psychologists use are different than what you would find elsewhere, because we make it a point to create a relationship with you.

Our goal is to understand you, and become “attuned” with you, so that we can be a partner in your ability to overcome these types of pains. We have the skills, experience and motivation to help you towards emotional health and happiness as we truly believe you deserve it, and we make it a point to assist you no matter what your challenges may be.

Counseling and psychotherapy are there to help you with any issue you may be facing, and our Sacramento therapists will do whatever it takes to help you:

  • Build your self-confidence and self-esteem.
  • Manage your fears and anxiety.
  • Overcome your sadness or depression.
  • Improve communication and conflict resolution.
  • Cope with life changes.
  • Prepare for new relationships.
  • Boost your sexual comfort.
  • Address specific challenges or issues as they arise.
  • Stop being held back by childhood experiences and abuse.

The goals of therapy are to help you overcome challenges, reduce the emotional and psychological pain you’re struggling with, and experience better relationships and a better future.

If you are interested in learning more about our individual therapy services in Sacramento, please call the experts here at Rebuild a Relationship, today. We’re happy to answer any questions or schedule you for your first appointment.