Whether you’re a woman or a man reading this today, you are sure to benefit from some helpful tips and advice on relationships. However, this particular article is geared more toward a woman. Hang in there, guys; your turn is coming soon!
Many women today are faced with daily challenges, pressure and demands. Of course, men experience these same stresses, but they are “wired” differently. Men have a tendency to compartmentalize, whereas women sometimes feel like they can “take on the world” and fix everyone’s problems by the time they pick the kids up from school and put dinner on the table after a full day at the office. Naturally, the above activities do not include all women, but it serves as an example.
As a woman, would you agree that your brain is more like spaghetti and the brain of a man is, well…like a waffle? Are you a “fixer?” Perhaps you’re in a relationship with someone and there are some past issues and “baggage” that you haven’t yet unpacked. These issues may stem from childhood hurts and/or habits and pain that has never been resolved.
If you are in a relationship that you’re struggling in, ask yourself a few important questions:
? Do I love this person?
? Does this person love me?
? Do I express my love in a way that communicates effectively?
? Does this person understand me?
? Do I listen and attempt to understand him/her?
Of course, this above list is abbreviated, but it’s a good start to move forward with some important tools for you to store in your “Relationship Advice for Women” tool chest.
If you are angry, frustrated, unhappy, or tired, let those feelings be known. Those are very real and legitimate feelings, and when communicated in the right tone, they can be very powerful. Take a look at the two examples below on communicating your feelings as a woman and let’s decide together which one will actually be “heard.”
“You’re such a jerk. You forgot my birthday again? You NEVER think of me, but I am ALWAYS doing things for you! Go ahead and go out with your buddies tonight. I’ll just stay home with the kids….AGAIN!”
“Sweetheart, I feel disappointed that you forgot my birthday today. I waited all day, hoping maybe you would surprise me at the end of the day, but I am sad that you didn’t. I don’t feel cherished and I feel neglected.”
Ouch. Now, this one was a pretty obvious example of how to/not to communicate your feelings. The first example used anger, accusations, insults and sarcasm to prove a point. The second example demonstrated true feelings. Sometimes we tend to speak out of anger and frustration, but when we use “I” or “me” statements and completely eliminate accusations and pointing fingers, the end result can often side in our favor.
Does this mode of communication work with everyone…every time? Nope. However, when we begin to practice expressing ourselves in a healthy way, the other party has little to no recourse and often will result in retaliation. They can’t dispute YOUR feelings, now, can they?
So women, remember, when the spaghetti (of all that’s happened in your day, week, and life) in your brain is twirling around and you want to be “heard,” don’t forget that the little boxes in the man’s brain all need to be filled proportionately. Be specific about your feelings, be careful not to accuse or attack, and know that you are strong enough to carry out this very effective form of communication not just once, but on a regular basis.
The more you integrate the above relationship advice for women, the better you’ll be able to implement positive and healthy relationships into your life.