The cornerstone of any good relationship is honest, open communication. When this is missing, you lack the means by which to discuss your concerns, your fears and your desires and needs. When two people don’t share with each other, they quickly drift apart and start to forget what it meant to true care for one another.
Not only is open communication an important building block for a healthy relationship, it is a good salve for a broken relationship. If your relationship is suffering due to a lack of open communication, there are a few things you can do to fix it.
First, Both Parties Must Recognize the Problem
Both parties in a relationship must realize that there is a problem before you can take steps to fix it. Dragging your spouse to a marriage counselor when they don’t recognize those problems will only further drive a wedge between you. They will see this as an act of aggression – of you saying there is a problem they need to fix and not a mutual issue that you both need to work on.
So, before taking any steps to repair the problem, first sit down and discuss the concerns you have with your partner. Tell them that you feel you don’t communicate enough and that it is causing problems in your relationship and then ask what they think and what solutions or alternatives they might offer to this problem. The key here is not to accuse them of anything, but to get them to recognize your concerns and see that you are eager to resolve them. Ideally, they will then agree that there is a communication gap that needs bridging.
Taking Steps to Resolve the Gap Between You and Your Partner
Once you both agree that communication is an issue in your relationship, the next step is to determine how to take action. There are formal therapy methods available as well as couples exercises and books that you can use to encourage communication, but on a basic level, the most important thing you can do is set aside time to talk.
The biggest obstacle to communication is our own lives. The hours we spend working, taking care of children, running errands and stressing about all of it and how it will fit into a day often make it impossible to sit down and talk about your issues with your partner. Make the time. Whether it’s twenty minutes every evening or two or three hours on the weekend, make the time and ensure it is a regular time. That little bit of effort alone is often enough to start repairing years of damage.
Ultimately, the methods you use to repair the communication gaps in your relationship will depend on the type of person you are and how you interact with your partner. You know yourself and your partner best – talk with them and determine what steps are best to take and then take them. The results will speak for themselves.