When you think of “spice,” what comes to mind? Cinnamon? Nutmeg? Basil? Curry? There are probably thousands of spices from all over the world that are used to improve the flavor of your food. Spicing up your relationship is really quite similar to spicing up your food. You reach for these spices and seasonings because you already know that what you are about to consume is good, but you would like to make it better.
Do you find yourself reaching for things to spice up a relationship in your life? Undoubtedly, you’ve seen a plethora of magazines that offer “spice advice” as you stand in the check-out line at the grocery store:
“Ten things you can say that will make her love you more”
“What to wear if you want to to get his attention”
“What NOT to wear if you want to get his attention”
“Teaching an old dog some new tricks’
Truthfully, if you really want to know how to spice up a relationship, communication is always a good place to start. Whether new or old, resorting to a “one size fits all” method doesn’t necessarily carry a lot of weight. You have to know your partner. For example, perhaps your boyfriend lights up when you greet him on a Saturday morning with a pretty little sun dress, flip flops, and your hair blowing in the breeze. Or maybe, the sight of you in a ponytail, sweat pants and a tank top makes his heart skip a beat! Paying attention to one another when you do something from the ordinary, to the extraordinary, can only add spice to your relationship!
Become fluent in your partner’s “Language of Love.”
Have you ever felt that you and your partner may be speaking a completely different language? Maybe he decides to surprise you at the office with a huge bouquet of flowers. Just because. You, being the practical sort, immediately think, “I wonder how much he spent on those two dozen roses?” He wants to spice things up, and you are concerned about money. This happens frequently, and more often than you may imagine. Because he is probably not speaking your “Love Language,” the look on your face may be one of disappointment rather than of pleasure. Most likely, he was trying to learn how to spice up a relationship that he saw was needing a little “lift,” when you would have been thrilled with a surprise romantic picnic in the park!
Communicate your definition of “spice.”
Don’t be afraid to let him or her know in a casual, non-threatening manner what your likes and dislikes are as it pertains to “spicing things up.” Perhaps you would rather stay home and order pizza, have a cold beer, and watch a marathon of your favorite spy movies. If that’s your preference, make it known! Maybe your idea of how to spice up a relationship involves dressing to the nines and enjoying the ballet, opera, or current
“Spice is an acquired taste.”
Remember, what “tastes good” to you may not necessarily be his/her cup of Darjeeling. Perhaps Chamomile is more to her liking. Habits, preferences, likes and dislikes can shift over time. Make sure you leave the lines of communication open and always be ready to throw in a dash of “this or that” every once in a while!